Life After Class

While willingly torturing myself on the elliptical last night with my friend Crystal, I mentioned that I should make a list of things to do this summer. I made the decision a while back to take summers off from class simply because there is something magical about summer that should not be shattered by the mundane tasks required by taking a class over the summer. I made the comment jokingly, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed to make the list. Summer only lasts three months and I have major plans.

1. Take cake decorating classes.
My grandmother was a caterer. I would like to think that I am good in the kitchen, unless it involves quick-cooking oats, but I am not that great when it comes to baking. I want to make roses and frosting and channel my inner Ollie.

2. Read a classic.
Every year for as long as I can remember, I have picked a huge, daunting classic to read over the summer. I started this tradition in high school. I figured that as an English major (future at that point), I should have a working knowledge of famous literary works. In the past I have read Anna Karenina, Lolita, multiple Dickens novels, etc. There are many still that I have never concurred, including Atlas Shrugged, which could be a possible contender.

3. Take full advantage of the beach.
No further explanation needed.

4. Clean up the hutch.
I recently inherited my grandmother's china, or rather, part of it. I also inherited a 6 1/2 foot hutch that is currently taking up residence in my grandfather's basement. It is oak, all the furniture in my apartment in cherry, so a staining is in order. Once that is done, I will haul it up to Cary and proudly display my flowery blue china.

5. See my family.
There are always excuses why we don't see the ones that we love and I have used them all. Life is crazy and busy and there is always something that needs to be completed. If we always do what needs to be completed, when do we get to do what we want? I know I will make it to Georgia this summer, but I would also like to make it to see my family in Virginia. After all, I'm running out of beets and pickles. You can't get those things 'round here.


There are lots of other plans that I have, but I try not to get ahead of myself. I want to find a community group at church. I want to see my friends more. Those are things that I can figure out along the way, though, and do not need a plan for.

I have tried many times to document my life to no avail. I have tried blogging, but if you have looked back through past blogs, you see that it never lasts very long. I have tried Project 365 where you take a picture every day of your life for a year. I think that lasted about three months, if that long. Maybe this time I can keep up with a blog, maybe not. Who knows? I have learned to just go with the flow and roll with the punches, hopefully, my blog can do the same.

My Life in a Book

I finished a book this morning that I randomly picked off Amazon and downloaded onto my Kindle, not thinking anything about it. It was entitled The New York Mormon Regional Singles Halloween Dance. No, I am not Mormon, but I am a huge fan of memoirs, which is what drew me to this book. I am fascinated by other peoples lives. It has always been a pipe dream of mine to write a memoir, but I always think that my life is too boring or I'm too busy. This book gave me hope, though. The book basically details the life of a twenty-something Mormon girl that is single in Manhattan and trying to find her way while questioning her faith and ultimately realizing that it is a part of who she is and it is right. It has been a very long time since a book made me stop and say, "Whoa. That is me," which brings me to my blog today.

I learned so much about me, or rather recognized it, from reading this book that it brought out this insatiable need to write again. I haven't written in a while. Sure, I wrote short stories and my column for Women's View, but I have not sat down and poured my heart and soul onto my laptop screen in over a year. Mostly because writing is not easy, not this type of writing at least. All at once it is freeing, therapeutic, and down right scary. When your thoughts are just in your head, you can ignore them, act like they aren't there. Once they are on paper, it is a very different story. Writing for me, though, is a need. It is not something I can put off. When it hits me, I have to do it. And this book showed me that it is important because my words might hit someone else like these hi me. So here I am, sitting at my computer, not getting ready for church, and writing my blog, because sometimes God speaks to you in other ways that are much more powerful.

When I sat down to write this morning, I didn't realize how long it had been since I had last blogged: October 21, 2009. That realization alone stopped me in my tracks and made me think - how much had happened in that one year and five months? A lot. My mom graduated with her MBA. My grandfather had a "spell" and we spent the next few months determining that it was vascular dementia and it wasn't going to get any better. The next few months we spent trying to figure out what to do. We are still figuring that out today. I started dating a guy, fell in love, only to have my heart shattered into a million pieces and left to pick them up. Nine months later, he came back and we started back at square one. This time, he loves me and I'm scary happy. My heart is still intact and I would like it to stay that way. I applied for grad school, was told to take PBS (post baccalaureate classes), and was then accepted into the program. I am now in my second semester in the program, third total. My best friend got married and moved to Japan. The father of one of my childhood friends died, as did another girl that grew up in the church with me. I can sit here and honestly say that 2010 was one of the best, worst, and most challenging years of my life. I wouldn't change any part of it, but I certainly do not want to relive it.

Thinking the book and this past year, I realize that nothing we do is coincidental. I picked a book because it was a memoir and I am fascinated by other religions. I also picked it because it looked interesting and I wanted "mindless reading" to escape to when I was not reading for class. I had no idea that this book would be like reading the story of my life and that it would provide the proverbial gut punch that I have missed. "Why would anyone miss a gut punch?" you might ask. "Because words are supposed to punch you," is what I would say. Gut punches are the reason that I love books and words so much. They are the most powerful thing that God provided us as humans. The right to think and to speak. The right to question, to research, to find answers, to argue, to demand, to find your way. I have not seen a writer do this in a long time or, rather, I have not found one to do this in a long time.

The last line of the book is something I found myself doing a few years ago.

"Hi God -" I choked on the word.

Growing up in the church is not easy. I can't imagine what it would be like growing up Mormon. Actually, it is not growing up in the church that is not easy, it is finding yourself in the world after you grow up in the church that is not easy. I tripped, I stumbled, I did a few face plants, but I ended up here. Like Elna (and no, I did not forget the 'e' between l and n), I found my way back to where I was supposed to be, with a few changes to my code and beliefs. Between each chapter in the book, there is a page that reads: What I Believe/What I Used to Believe. To complete a page like that each year of your life and go back and review it would be awesome. You can watch yourself grow through the change in your beliefs, just like I can watch myself grow through my blog. I now consider this my page.

As I sit in my chair at my dining room table, drinking my coffee out of a mug that my friend Michaela gave me for Christmas one year, I look at my apartment and know that I need to clean, to grocery shop, and do some homework, among a list of other things. Instead, I sit here and finish this blog because what God has shown me this morning through a book about a Mormon girl, is worth so much more than rushing to get ready and make it to church or cleaning. I have learned that 2010 was worth every tear and every crushing moment, as well as all the awesome ones. I learned who I am, what I believe, and that no matter what gets put in front of me, I will get through it and come out even better on the other side because I have God. I know that I am a Christian. I know what I believe is not what everyone else believes. I know that others will question me and that is okay. I know that God loves me as I am and I strive everyday to be the person he wants me to be. I know that he put the very best people in my life through my friends and my family and I would not trade one of them for someone else. He pushes me. I know it is okay for me to push back. I know that things will get bad, and that's okay. He makes everything okay. After pouring out my heart, I end this blog simply by saying, "Hi, God."

Target Pharmacy, How I Love Thee

After years of dealing with the imbeciles that work at Wal-Mart Pharmacy (both in Fayetteville and Garner), I finally moved to Target Pharmacy mostly because the closest Wal-Mart is about a ten-minute drive. I would now like to thank God for moving me out of the ghetto and into an apartment that is NO WHERE NEAR a Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart Pharmacies are not people friendly. You can't call in a prescription that day, no no, you must wait another day so they can slap that pack of blister pills in a blue pouch. Hard work right there, I tell ya. I would need a day too. They also make you wait at least fifteen minutes (whether there is a line or not) each time you go to pick it up because they are undoubtedly some fo the slowest cashiers I have ever seen in my life. Target is not like this. You can sign up for automatic refills and it sends you an email when its ready. You don't even have to THINK about it, which for ADD people such as myself, is a miracle. It's like a little bright spot of happiness when you look at your email and go, "Oh! I don't have to remember that! Thanks!" I can also usually get in and out within about five minutes, unless there is a long line.

In short, I love Target and loathe Wal-Mart.

The Joys of Working Downtown...

Sometimes, I swear this stuff only happens to me, yet I'm sure others must experience it also. I just seem to get a lot of it. Anywho, here is the latest "did that really just happen to me?" moment.

I work in downtown Raleigh on Boylan Ave. It's not in the "heart" of downtown, but out on the skirts near housing developments. The company I work for is mostly housed in a large brick building, except for my department, the Planning Department. We are in the tiny old house behind the big brick building. We are across the street from some very shady apartments where people have been arrested and have proven themselves crazy. People love to randomly walk into our building. And since the front office is empty, they normally get pretty far before I can accost them (oh and I do). We've had drunks, people selling memberships to golf clubs, etc. but today, I experienced something new. A non-english speaking Asian lady walked into my building today calling, "hewwo!" and telling me that she drove here from Goldsboro and was trying to find the JC Penney. Did I know where it was? (The nearest JC Penney is in North Hills which takes much more explaining than I care to do). I told her that she needed to go to a gas station to ask, that they would be able to help her more than I. What does she do? She whips out her hand drawn map and shows me where she was supposed to get off the beltline. I should probably mention at this point that she has on a gold head-band, bright purple cami/leotard, and those genie-in-a-bottle pants. It's taken everything to keep a straight face while talking to this woman, but I lose the battle when I tell her she needs to go to gas station she jumps up and says, "No! You know where JC Penney be! Gas station told me wrong! They told me this circle!" She had driven a circle around downtown and ended up at my office.

I Like to Keep it Interesting...

Yesterday was my one year anniversary with the Wooten Company. WOO! (no pun intended). It's officially been a year since I left Fayetteville and moved to Raleigh, on my own, not really knowing anyone. I have gone from living in Lil Harlem/Lil Mexico, situated slightly behind the Wal-Mart in Garner (should have been my first sign) to living in a cute, cozy, and centrally located apartment in Cary. When I say centrally located I mean that I'm less than five minutes from a DSW, Ulta, World Market, Target, Stein Mart, Marshall's, and Borders, and less than two minutes from a Starbucks with a drive-thru. Be jealous!

I have also gone from the very definition of anti-social to having a social calendar that makes me tired just thinking about it. I've had more people over at my new apartment in the three weeks that I have lived there than I did the entire 11 months that I lived in Lil Mexico/Harlem. Now that my life is back to the normal Sarah-level of craziness, I have decided to throw yet one more iron into the oven: grad school!

When I graduated in December 2007, I was convinced I wanted to go to school for publishing. And that pipe dream is still very much alive. I applied to one grad school (there are only four in the country that actually have a publishing program) in Boston, Emerson College. It is very prestigious and well-known for it's publishing program. I pretty much half-assed my application, bombed the math portion of the GRE, and didn't get in (shocker, I know). I wasn't really that surprised, although, I was sad. I decided to try and get a job, work for a year, and figure out what I wanted to do. So, a year and half later, here I am, studying for the GRE and working on yet another grad school application. This time, it's for a Master's in Public Administration, concentration in non-profit organizations, at NC State University. I will be working full-time while going to school at night. If I am accepted, I will start in January 2010. I'm pretty sure that I'll have no life, will be crazy busy (nothing new), but I really think that the non-profit world is where I want to be.

As of today, my GRE test is on Saturday. I'm retaking it to see if I can do any better on the math portion. Applications are due by November 1; I'm hoping to have mine in by the first week in October. I already have one person willing to write a recommendation and hopefully I'll have two more soon. It's all becoming real and it's scaring the crap out of me, but I'm getting really excited at the same time. It will make my life crazy, but like I said, I do like to keep it interesting.

Soles4Souls

While shoe shopping online this morning at work (I know, I know - Bad Sarah!) a link caught my eye at the bottom of the Piperlime webpage for donating your shoes. I have a ton of shoes and I've been contemplating what to do with the ones that I don't wear and haven't worn for years. I'm moving in two months or so and I certainly don't want to have to take them with me, but they're not nice enough (aka - not designer) for me to try and sell them on ebay. So this Soles4Souls deal is perfect for me. You load up the shoes in a box and ship it to them and in 3 weeks they send you a tax deductible receipt for your donation. In short, you can clean out your closet and help people at the same time! Woo!

Websites that you might find useful:

http://www.soles4souls.org/

www.piperlime.com

My newest obsession...Etsy

I love clothes. I love clothes that fit me and don't look like the rest of the world even more. I have finally found the answer to my prayers/quandry/etc: Etsy.

I just discovered Etsy, though I've randomly looked on their site multiple times, I hadn't actually looked at clothing. Then I started following them on Twitter and suddenly, I'm obsessed! They have jewelry that is my style (quirky, eclectic, without being tacky and REAL) for reasonable prices and it's made to fit you. Same with clothing. This dress was one of the things that popped up on my twitter and it's only $60. You send her your measurements, she makes it, and sends it to you. On one of her other items, you can specify the color. I love the idea buying something that is handmade and tailored to fit MY body (which is next to impossible to fit into most dresses anyway). It's so personal. Most stores now aren't personal, everything is picked over, and it all starts to look the same after a while. Etsy is such a breath of fresh air when it comes to shopping for anything.

I am in love. And I highly recommend you follow them on twitter and sign up for their emails. You'll find the coolest stuff!