Yet again, my horoscope has somehow managed to articulate feelings that I couldn't really put a finger on. Here it is for the day:
"You are feeling even more internalized than you usually do around this time of year. With ten out of twelve planets clustered in your subjective 3rd and 4th Houses now, it's challenging for you to take what you know and turn it into anything productive. And who says that you should? Even if your attitude begins to pick up this afternoon and on through tomorrow, it's still okay to take it easy instead of doing work, work and more work."
So there IS a reason my ADD is off the charts and I feel like I can't concentrate on ANYTHING (which is why I'm doing this quick blog before I go answer phones). And I feel like others can sense my craziness and are disappointed. Being an overachiever is not all that its cracked up to be people--it will drive you mad. Heck, you will drive yourself mad. And today, I am there.
I'm just saying...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
"Even if your personal history is stranger than fiction, you may be ready to take center stage today and share your story. Oddly, you might want to keep certain bits and pieces of your private life totally to yourself. And as much as this is your prerogative, think about what you leave out, for it can alter someone's perspective of you in ways you don't realize. Be radical and tell the whole truth."
This was my horoscope for the day. Generally, I don't pay much attention to my horoscope, its simply there to take up space on my iGoogle and entertain me when I need a break from the craziness that is my workday. But sometimes, like today, it catches my attention because it eerily parallels my life.
I do tell my story once a month to hundreds of readers in Fayetteville's "Women's View" magazine. It started out about a year ago with me writing a column called "University You." I was the spokesperson for Methodist since I worked there and had the awesome connection that is my mother and, of course, was a writer. When the column first began, it was fairly mundane and boring to me. Then I hit on the subject of lateral entry teaching, which is huge in NC where a lot of graduates can't get jobs out of college, and all of the sudden I had responses and avid readers. For that one article, I received about 20 emails and 10 or so calls. Unfortunately, I had to give up that column once I moved to Raleigh and began my current position. I didn't feel right writing the column when I'm so obviously out of the University scene.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that my readers missed me! They were asking my editor where I had gone, if the article was gone, etc. My mom, prompted by my editor, approached me about writing about "The Big Girl World" as I have so lovingly come to call this new life of mine. She had heard my stories about crazy job interviews, dates, and moving experiences and decided that her readers would love it. I thought it would be fun, but when I started writing it, I was at a total loss for words. Looking back, the interview process had its absolutely hilarious moments, but that's because everything was so ludicrous. I couldn't make it funny because mostly it was depressing. Moving to my own apartment and dealing with fleas was also hilarious, but I wasn't quite ready to jump into that. I'm not a fan of in medias res (ha, english major strikes!) and I felt like I needed to give readers a glimpse of me before I started telling the tale of my life. So I wrote this super perky article that I didn't really like. I wrote it as me, not as someone else. I wish I could take that back, but thankfully, most of the readers are in Fayetteville and not in Raleigh. And it's not like I really hold much back anyway; I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets. But I still worry.
If I tell the world about most of my life, will I be given a chance? Or will they look at me and go, "Spoiled little white girl having to live on her own, oh so sad. Not." Or will they go, I remember that! Or I've been there! I don't mind sharing my story, 0therwise I wouldn't have a blog, but I want people to appreciate it, to want to read it, to miss me if I don't make a deadline once. I know I will censor some of my life, obviously, my mother reads that thing! But I want them to get a real picture too. It's weird how things, like horoscopes, really bring into focus the things that have been lurking in the back of your head.
This was my horoscope for the day. Generally, I don't pay much attention to my horoscope, its simply there to take up space on my iGoogle and entertain me when I need a break from the craziness that is my workday. But sometimes, like today, it catches my attention because it eerily parallels my life.
I do tell my story once a month to hundreds of readers in Fayetteville's "Women's View" magazine. It started out about a year ago with me writing a column called "University You." I was the spokesperson for Methodist since I worked there and had the awesome connection that is my mother and, of course, was a writer. When the column first began, it was fairly mundane and boring to me. Then I hit on the subject of lateral entry teaching, which is huge in NC where a lot of graduates can't get jobs out of college, and all of the sudden I had responses and avid readers. For that one article, I received about 20 emails and 10 or so calls. Unfortunately, I had to give up that column once I moved to Raleigh and began my current position. I didn't feel right writing the column when I'm so obviously out of the University scene.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that my readers missed me! They were asking my editor where I had gone, if the article was gone, etc. My mom, prompted by my editor, approached me about writing about "The Big Girl World" as I have so lovingly come to call this new life of mine. She had heard my stories about crazy job interviews, dates, and moving experiences and decided that her readers would love it. I thought it would be fun, but when I started writing it, I was at a total loss for words. Looking back, the interview process had its absolutely hilarious moments, but that's because everything was so ludicrous. I couldn't make it funny because mostly it was depressing. Moving to my own apartment and dealing with fleas was also hilarious, but I wasn't quite ready to jump into that. I'm not a fan of in medias res (ha, english major strikes!) and I felt like I needed to give readers a glimpse of me before I started telling the tale of my life. So I wrote this super perky article that I didn't really like. I wrote it as me, not as someone else. I wish I could take that back, but thankfully, most of the readers are in Fayetteville and not in Raleigh. And it's not like I really hold much back anyway; I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets. But I still worry.
If I tell the world about most of my life, will I be given a chance? Or will they look at me and go, "Spoiled little white girl having to live on her own, oh so sad. Not." Or will they go, I remember that! Or I've been there! I don't mind sharing my story, 0therwise I wouldn't have a blog, but I want people to appreciate it, to want to read it, to miss me if I don't make a deadline once. I know I will censor some of my life, obviously, my mother reads that thing! But I want them to get a real picture too. It's weird how things, like horoscopes, really bring into focus the things that have been lurking in the back of your head.
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