Spring Happenings

I figured since I can't really talk to people due to oral surgery, I should actually work on a new blog post since it's been over a month since my last one. A lot of things have happened in the past month or so that I've always wanted to do and that have been on my list of things to do for a while. I love checking things off a list. So here goes some checking!

Habitat for Humanity

I have wanted to do Habitat for Humanity for a long time. When I got an email about NCSU Graduate School doing a Habitat for Humanity project, I thought it was perfect, especially since it was a deconstruction project. Who doesn't love deconstructing buildings?!? Aaron was on board as well, so I signed us up. When we got there, all that was left of the house was the floor, the basement, and the chimney. We honestly thought there wasn't much left for us to do. We were wrong. They had people de-nailing boards, ripping up the hardwood floors and subfloors, and eventually taking out all the wires and pipes. Aaron and I opted to work on the hardwood floors. I was doing really well with it until I shoved the crowbar into my thigh full force. It took hitting myself once more before I realized that I should leave that work to the men. At that point, I went into the basement and started cutting down wires and pipes. Overall we had a lot of fun and, even though I turned myself black (not black and blue, just black), I plan to do it again.

Herb Garden

I recently decided that I wanted to start an herb garden. A few weeks ago, Aaron and I went to Lowe's to get the necessary items for said garden. After looking around, I saw that there were lots of different plant choices and different size gardens to choose from. I decided that since it was my first time trying my hand at growing anything, I would start small. I bought two kits with six small pots each and three different types of seeds. Aaron bought four cups to grow sunflowers. They have finally started growing and I'm so excited! I have never actually grown anything before and if this goes well, I might do actual gardening next year. For now, I'm happy with my parsley, basil, oregano, and chives!

Eye of the Tiger

After much demanding on my part, Aaron and I took a day trip on Saturday since we were not able to visit my family in Georgia as originally planned. I had no part in the planning, except for choosing what time we would arrive at our destination, which made the day even more fun for me. Due to my crazy schedule, I have to plan every little detail of my week and to not have to make any decisions on Saturday is like a mini vacation in and of itself.

Aaron picked me up at 11:45 am. He took great care to be on time for this mini-adventure. If you are not familiar with Aaron and his timing, this is a big deal. He even managed to answer all of my wardrobe questions: "What should I wear?" "Outdoorsy like exercising or outdoorsy like casual?" "Flats or tennis shoes?" He even managed to answer them all without giving me any clues (I'm notorious for guessing surprises).

We drove down Highway 64, past Jordan Lake, and into the middle of nowhere. I was navigating the whole time and was still clueless as to where we were going. The last direction read "Drive 0.4 miles and the surprise will be on your right." We turned into a gravel parking lot with an old house. We were at Carolina Tiger Rescue.

I had no idea that this place even existed. Carolina Tiger Rescue is a non-profit located in Pittsboro in Chatham County (west of Cary/Raleigh). They have 55 acres of land and take in tigers, lions, and other wild animals from people that have had them as pets, from roadside shows, and from zoos that have lost funding. When I told my mom about the day, her first question was, "You were in a car, right?" No. We weren't. We walked around the property, following roads and trails from cage to cage. The cages were more like big back yards that were fenced in than the cages you would imagine. In fact, they had an example of a cage that most people keep lions and tigers in as pets. It was significantly smaller than their cages.

We saw 7 different types of animals: caracals, ocelots, tigers, lions, bobcats, binturongs, and seravals. I've posted pictures of all of them below, except for the bobcat. He did not want to come out and play at first, and when he did, he blended in with the fence too much for me to get a decent shot.

This is the caracal. I personally love his awesome ears. His name is Kiniki. These animals are found in Africa. I can't remember if Kiniki was a pet or from a zoo. At the rescue, they put ropes around the the smaller animals' cages because they can reach out and snag you. He looks really cute, though. Kiniki obviously loved the attention; as you can see, he pranced in front of us the whole time.

This cutie is the ocelot. Unfortunately, I don't remember his name. Before this tour, I didn't know that many of these animals even existed or that people even owned them. It's actually legal to own wild and exotic animals in North Carolina. Crazy. I loved how each cage was created specifically for each animal. Those that love to climb had multi-levels and swings, some even had tree houses. It was obvious that it was all about the animals here.

From there we went to see lions, tigers, but no bears (oh my!). From this sign you can see they have lots of different areas and have segregated the animals to keep them with their kind. The first tiger that we met was Rajaji.

Rajaji likes to spray people. And by spray, I mean urinate. We were informed that if you did not make it out of range in time, it was alright; you would simply smell like popcorn. Raja had a Christmas tree in his cage. In order to help the animals retain their animal instincts, the put Christmas trees or phone books in their cages with different smells.

Aaron enjoyed staring contests with Rajaji.

They had three lions. As you can see, they were enjoying the beautiful day. They told us that one of the lions was 500 pounds. They didn't move enough for us to really see them.

Lucky was pretty awesome. He was doing all sorts of tricks for us while his girlfriend Carmelita slept in the shade. This pictures just screams "Pet me!"

This guy stole my heart. He's so cute. Elvis is a serval. They told us the story of Elvis. His owners called Carolina Rescue, asked if they could take him. He'd been living as someone's pet and the owner's could no longer keep him. The center was not able to take him at the time, but said they would help the owners find a new home for Elvis. The next day Elvis was on their doorstep.

They also had a white tiger named Jellybean. Jellybean is actually blind. Fun fact for the day: White tigers are simply a recessive gene. They aren't a different species than a regular tiger. The guide explained to us that people have tried to breed white tigers together to produce more, since their coats are more expensive and more desirable, but that breeding them caused more mutations within the tigers.

Like other animals we saw on the tour, I never knew what a binturong was or that it even existed before Saturday. I can honestly say that I wasn't missing much. He isn't cute like ocelots and servals. I do not want to hug and cuddle him. He isn't pretty or majestic like a tiger. He just kind of...is. The first binturongs that we saw would not even come out of the shelter they were sleeping in. The only reason we even saw Tristan is because he was snoozing in the open.

This was the last tiger that we saw or at least the last tiger that I took pictures of. I don't know his name because we were a little late showing up to his cage. Aaron decided to play with Lucky and bond with our assistant tour guide instead of moving on to the next cage.

When we arrived at the rescue, I honestly was not sure how much I was going to enjoy the tour. It's no secret that I'm not the most outdoorsy of people, but it turned out to be a lot of fun. The day was absolutely gorgeous. Almost all of the animals had their own personalities and awesome stories. I was able to learn a lot about the animals and appreciate them. One thing that I really liked was that they did not show off the animals like a roadside show. It was much more about education and respecting the animals, preserving their dignity. I am now a proud member of Carolina Tiger Rescue (students get a discount). If you are looking for something to do on a beautiful Saturday, I highly recommend this place. I might even tag along since I now get in for free!

Life After Class

While willingly torturing myself on the elliptical last night with my friend Crystal, I mentioned that I should make a list of things to do this summer. I made the decision a while back to take summers off from class simply because there is something magical about summer that should not be shattered by the mundane tasks required by taking a class over the summer. I made the comment jokingly, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I needed to make the list. Summer only lasts three months and I have major plans.

1. Take cake decorating classes.
My grandmother was a caterer. I would like to think that I am good in the kitchen, unless it involves quick-cooking oats, but I am not that great when it comes to baking. I want to make roses and frosting and channel my inner Ollie.

2. Read a classic.
Every year for as long as I can remember, I have picked a huge, daunting classic to read over the summer. I started this tradition in high school. I figured that as an English major (future at that point), I should have a working knowledge of famous literary works. In the past I have read Anna Karenina, Lolita, multiple Dickens novels, etc. There are many still that I have never concurred, including Atlas Shrugged, which could be a possible contender.

3. Take full advantage of the beach.
No further explanation needed.

4. Clean up the hutch.
I recently inherited my grandmother's china, or rather, part of it. I also inherited a 6 1/2 foot hutch that is currently taking up residence in my grandfather's basement. It is oak, all the furniture in my apartment in cherry, so a staining is in order. Once that is done, I will haul it up to Cary and proudly display my flowery blue china.

5. See my family.
There are always excuses why we don't see the ones that we love and I have used them all. Life is crazy and busy and there is always something that needs to be completed. If we always do what needs to be completed, when do we get to do what we want? I know I will make it to Georgia this summer, but I would also like to make it to see my family in Virginia. After all, I'm running out of beets and pickles. You can't get those things 'round here.


There are lots of other plans that I have, but I try not to get ahead of myself. I want to find a community group at church. I want to see my friends more. Those are things that I can figure out along the way, though, and do not need a plan for.

I have tried many times to document my life to no avail. I have tried blogging, but if you have looked back through past blogs, you see that it never lasts very long. I have tried Project 365 where you take a picture every day of your life for a year. I think that lasted about three months, if that long. Maybe this time I can keep up with a blog, maybe not. Who knows? I have learned to just go with the flow and roll with the punches, hopefully, my blog can do the same.

My Life in a Book

I finished a book this morning that I randomly picked off Amazon and downloaded onto my Kindle, not thinking anything about it. It was entitled The New York Mormon Regional Singles Halloween Dance. No, I am not Mormon, but I am a huge fan of memoirs, which is what drew me to this book. I am fascinated by other peoples lives. It has always been a pipe dream of mine to write a memoir, but I always think that my life is too boring or I'm too busy. This book gave me hope, though. The book basically details the life of a twenty-something Mormon girl that is single in Manhattan and trying to find her way while questioning her faith and ultimately realizing that it is a part of who she is and it is right. It has been a very long time since a book made me stop and say, "Whoa. That is me," which brings me to my blog today.

I learned so much about me, or rather recognized it, from reading this book that it brought out this insatiable need to write again. I haven't written in a while. Sure, I wrote short stories and my column for Women's View, but I have not sat down and poured my heart and soul onto my laptop screen in over a year. Mostly because writing is not easy, not this type of writing at least. All at once it is freeing, therapeutic, and down right scary. When your thoughts are just in your head, you can ignore them, act like they aren't there. Once they are on paper, it is a very different story. Writing for me, though, is a need. It is not something I can put off. When it hits me, I have to do it. And this book showed me that it is important because my words might hit someone else like these hi me. So here I am, sitting at my computer, not getting ready for church, and writing my blog, because sometimes God speaks to you in other ways that are much more powerful.

When I sat down to write this morning, I didn't realize how long it had been since I had last blogged: October 21, 2009. That realization alone stopped me in my tracks and made me think - how much had happened in that one year and five months? A lot. My mom graduated with her MBA. My grandfather had a "spell" and we spent the next few months determining that it was vascular dementia and it wasn't going to get any better. The next few months we spent trying to figure out what to do. We are still figuring that out today. I started dating a guy, fell in love, only to have my heart shattered into a million pieces and left to pick them up. Nine months later, he came back and we started back at square one. This time, he loves me and I'm scary happy. My heart is still intact and I would like it to stay that way. I applied for grad school, was told to take PBS (post baccalaureate classes), and was then accepted into the program. I am now in my second semester in the program, third total. My best friend got married and moved to Japan. The father of one of my childhood friends died, as did another girl that grew up in the church with me. I can sit here and honestly say that 2010 was one of the best, worst, and most challenging years of my life. I wouldn't change any part of it, but I certainly do not want to relive it.

Thinking the book and this past year, I realize that nothing we do is coincidental. I picked a book because it was a memoir and I am fascinated by other religions. I also picked it because it looked interesting and I wanted "mindless reading" to escape to when I was not reading for class. I had no idea that this book would be like reading the story of my life and that it would provide the proverbial gut punch that I have missed. "Why would anyone miss a gut punch?" you might ask. "Because words are supposed to punch you," is what I would say. Gut punches are the reason that I love books and words so much. They are the most powerful thing that God provided us as humans. The right to think and to speak. The right to question, to research, to find answers, to argue, to demand, to find your way. I have not seen a writer do this in a long time or, rather, I have not found one to do this in a long time.

The last line of the book is something I found myself doing a few years ago.

"Hi God -" I choked on the word.

Growing up in the church is not easy. I can't imagine what it would be like growing up Mormon. Actually, it is not growing up in the church that is not easy, it is finding yourself in the world after you grow up in the church that is not easy. I tripped, I stumbled, I did a few face plants, but I ended up here. Like Elna (and no, I did not forget the 'e' between l and n), I found my way back to where I was supposed to be, with a few changes to my code and beliefs. Between each chapter in the book, there is a page that reads: What I Believe/What I Used to Believe. To complete a page like that each year of your life and go back and review it would be awesome. You can watch yourself grow through the change in your beliefs, just like I can watch myself grow through my blog. I now consider this my page.

As I sit in my chair at my dining room table, drinking my coffee out of a mug that my friend Michaela gave me for Christmas one year, I look at my apartment and know that I need to clean, to grocery shop, and do some homework, among a list of other things. Instead, I sit here and finish this blog because what God has shown me this morning through a book about a Mormon girl, is worth so much more than rushing to get ready and make it to church or cleaning. I have learned that 2010 was worth every tear and every crushing moment, as well as all the awesome ones. I learned who I am, what I believe, and that no matter what gets put in front of me, I will get through it and come out even better on the other side because I have God. I know that I am a Christian. I know what I believe is not what everyone else believes. I know that others will question me and that is okay. I know that God loves me as I am and I strive everyday to be the person he wants me to be. I know that he put the very best people in my life through my friends and my family and I would not trade one of them for someone else. He pushes me. I know it is okay for me to push back. I know that things will get bad, and that's okay. He makes everything okay. After pouring out my heart, I end this blog simply by saying, "Hi, God."